Tag: Devin

Her head was between my hands… I longed to pull her closer, to bite into her aura and suck the life force out of her. Or break her neck, at least. But every house had security cameras watching. After all, it is an influential suburban area where it’s unwise to cause a commotion. Even for us. The clean-up is cumbersome, the Alliance has to deploy and mobilise agents – it’s just not worth it. And I wouldn’t have been paid, in fact…

Yet I still almost did it.

Helpless anger tightens my gums, my temples. Everything that makes me human wants to burst… To kill… To rage.

I accelerate. Going from the outer lane to the inner, then back to the outer. Cars, buses, trucks fall behind me. The speedometer reaches 240. But it’s not enough. Nothing is enough…

As long as she lives.

With my nose on her face. Like a grotesque reflection, and I have to strike the surface of the water to make it disappear.

And it will.

Tomorrow.

I could have done it today… When I gave up her glasses, the lenses were covered in fog. I could have taken her anywhere and she wouldn’t have even noticed. I should have thought of it…

How could I be so upset and distracted?

I wanted to change before the trip so that the leather outfit would hide me from the prying eyes of Jev’s fans. Instead, here I am, speeding down the highway in the same pants and jacket I met her in, waiting for the driving wind to rip that memory out of me. But the more I long to forget, the more the whole afternoon burns in my mind. Her smile, her feet under the table, her nose…

260.

All around me the deserts rise into mountains, a pink twilight descends on the landscape. The sky is the same colour as her aura…

Hate thunders with ceaseless fury beneath my skin. I haven’t felt anything like this in years. What has changed?

She’s just a target.

Do you also have a brother or sister?

Sibling, family… Alden has never experienced anything like it, and neither have I. In the elven society where I spent my teenage years, family as a social phenomenon didn’t exist. There, any emotional bond between the sexes was punished by death, and the only time males slept with females was at the behest of a woman. Boys were raised in a state institution almost from the day they were born. Only the code on their necks indicates the blood bond. This does not preclude sexual contact, but only the conception of a common offspring, due to deformities and diseases caused by similar genes.

I didn’t even think about it at the time, but now… How can they be attracted to someone who looks at them with their eyes, kisses them with the same lips, surrounds them with their own aura?

All that sexual energy in Talia, deeply repressed…

It sends shivers down my spine.

And I was afraid that after the bike ride, she’d never want to see me again and I’d lose my chance to kill her.

Next time, let’s make it fifteen.

I clench my partially transformed teeth.

Tomorrow. Same place, same time.

 

<< Previous                                                                                                                                                                                                    Next >>

The engine runs quietly, rhythmically beneath me – the repressed roar of my true self in the cage of the human world. It wants to erupt, to go on a rampage. I strain every muscle to keep it in check.

It’s harder than I expected. Especially with her sitting right behind me. Her chest pulsing on my back, her knees trembling on my thighs. The same knee that I would have gladly stretched open not so long ago…

Our legs move at the same time, colliding under the table.

All I care about is that it doesn’t move again.

Never again.

So I can wake up from this nightmare.

If I had not explained to her about the motorbike, she would have fallen a long time ago. Why did I do that?

Because otherwise she wouldn’t have sat up; I could see it in her aura of doubt, in her face turned to death.

With my nose on her face.

I’m flooded with horror.

I will push her off. But when? At what speed would she fall so hard that the helmet wouldn’t protect her? Is it worth the risk? If, by some miracle, she survives, maybe gets crippled, I’ll be sued. With the connections her family has, it would cause so much paperwork for the Alliance, it would eat up my entire salary. My wages that I wouldn’t even get for a job that wasn’t done.

I’ve got a burning desire to wrap my hair around her neck and just choke her to death.

But there are too many witnesses. Especially at a red light.

My tongue runs along the inner side of my teeth.

I’ll take her far away, to the country…

In broad daylight? Where to? She would scream…

It must look like an accident.

How circumstantial… If only I had the Power that made me a Warden! I could infuse it into her body and stop her heart. No clues, no evidence. Too bad that power is a thing of the past. I’ve lost it.

Along with Lily.

The road trembles beneath me, the sound of the approaching train grows louder.

Ahead of me, the barrier is like a narrow, red ribbon waiting to be crossed.

The ground rumbles to a beat with the pulsing veins in my temples, my fingers grip the handlebar as if strangling her throat. My wrists tighten to give throttle.

Patience, let it come closer… I can do it at the last moment.

My lips pull into a triumphant smile.

A crash like that will tear her to pieces.

Just like my bike. The girl’s bounty wouldn’t buy me a new one. Maybe a second-hand one… full of wear and tear, tiny scratches.

But it’s not just the bike that’ll be torn apart.

Me, too.

I can almost feel the dull tingling as the cold wheels of the train tear through my skin, my flesh, shatter my bones. I can hear the crack of my skull. My eyes leak from their sockets and the world goes dark. To follow the rules of the Underworld, I should hold my remains together and wait idly to be transported, identified…

Buried…

A dark shadow falls over me, squeezing the air from my lungs.

No. They won’t bury me again. Especially not for such an insignificant target.

I clench my jaw as the train speeds past, the wind dust bouncing off my third eyelid. The barrier rises, the light turns white.

I give it more throttle than I need, the engine roars, the driving wind whips my hair back – into her aura. The nervously vibrating, pink cloud of energy. I’m in it. I’m crazed with the desire to have her in me. Forever and irreversibly.

My teeth reach into a half-open form, tearing at my gums. Blood rushes to my tongue, its salty taste spreading through my mouth like the memories in my mind of all I’ve lost. Agony settles over me.

I would do anything to ease it.

I’m speeding up. Her arms squeeze my ribs with the force of a doxi. A human would choke. It’s a good thing breathing isn’t a necessity for me.

I rev the engine. More and more.

I’ll kill you.

 

<< Previous                                                                                                                                                                                                    Next >>

The yellow paving stones of the city centre are mixed with a few blue and red lines, the sun of September glints off the greenish-grey wrought-iron lanterns. Leaves of the roadside hornbeams rustle in the wind. On the sides, shop windows lining the lower floors of neoclassical and eclectic buildings tempt passers-by with their vibrant display. We are passing a paper stationery shop. I glance at the huge glass surface that mirrors us: the tall, black-clad, white-haired apex predator with the race bike and the short, plump schoolgirl in the tattered-sleeved boy’s sweater. The contrast could not be greater. Just like with Lili; shaggy blonde hair, freckles…

The pain that spreads through my chest immediately draws my attention back to Talia. She keeps talking. About school, about, Mandy, about books, about people passing by, about keeping animals, about having children, about the environment, whatever comes to her mind. She hardly takes a breath, as if she’s muttering a demon-invoking mantra and fears that if she stops talking, I’ll vanish into thin air. And Jev said she is an introvert… It’s amazing what female rivalry can do. Or maybe it was my hand.

It makes me smile.

Well, at least as long as her mouth keeps running, she’s not spinning erotic scenes in her head. Her aura is excited, in love, no sign of yesterday’s hurricane. Maybe it was just the first big flare-up.

I’m absorbed in the melody of her cheerful voice, her figure bending sideways from the weight. I should take the heavy shoulder bag from her, but I’m afraid I’d jolt her out of the monologue and cause another tsunami. Anyway, we are almost there.

As I park the motorbike in the shade of a tree, two guys turn to me from the bench by the fountain, and a girl at the newsstand, and a beggar at the lamp post. Jev was right; this bike is too eye-catching. But I like speed too much to give it up.

With my helmet under my arm, I open the glass door of the Once upon a time and let Talia go in first. As soon as I enter, the smell of freshly roasted coffee and whipped cream creeps into my nose, my ears fill with the murmur of guests’ voices. The grey auras form a cohesive shell, with only a few colored ones. It’s just as crowded as I expected. Unlike me, Talia finds the crowd refreshing. So there must have been oppressive thoughts lurking in a secluded corner of her mind. Justifiably so, after all, being an older and stronger man I could have dragged her down to a coed toilet in a nearby alley. Which is out of the question, of course; I’d rather rape her in broad daylight in the middle of the street than in a cramped, airless, unhygienic place.

I push my way forward to a table by the window, slightly out of the way, in a small space, cramped with people. It’s probably the last seat available, but I ask anyway:

“Is this okay?”

“Perfect.”

I pull out the white leatherette-covered chair to offer her a seat, put my helmet on the empty third chair, lay my coat on the back and sit down opposite her. As there is only a drink tray lying in the middle of the table with a napkin holder, I politely push it towards her.

“Order what you’d like.”

She reaches for it slowly, but the eagerness of her aura tells me that she is keen to live out her embarrassment in the cover of the cardboard. The embarrassment that my attention evokes in her.

The sunlight streaming in through the window gives her brown hair a golden sheen, glinting off her half-rimmed glasses. How different she is now from yesterday in the library! She could barely string together a sentence that made sense. I was sure it would be difficult to engage her in conversation, to get her to open up. And here she is, already an open book, keeping only her legs closed for me. Well, not for long.

A waiter in a green apron is standing next to us with a notebook in his hand.

“Have you made your choice?”

“I’d like a marzipan hot chocolate.”

“And for you?” The boy looks at me.

“That’ll be all, thank you.”

He takes the order and disappears into the crowd. Once out of earshot, Talia starts giggling.

“Am I really going to drink alone? Like in a vampire novel?“

“I have a sensitive digestive system that demands a special diet.” I shrug, hiding the fact that I don’t have a conventional digestive system at all.

“Oh” She frowns. “I can relate. Coffee is not good for me either; caffeine makes my heart ache. I was diagnosed with a heart valve disorder when I was in kindergarten. The cardiologist said it was a congenital disorder that would stay with me for the rest of my life, but nowadays I experience the symptoms less and less. How strange…”

No, it’s not. It’s more unusual that it was detected on a doxi. Although, the mental blockade generated by the human mind can convince the mortal consciousness of odd things. As a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, it makes true what it believes to be true, and conceals what it denies or is not aware of.

“I am now able to complete the PE session without choking or dizziness. You should have seen Mandy’s shocked face when I first did it! Speaking of Mandy. I still don’t understand how can you be indifferent to her.”

“She gets everyone, doesn’t she?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Too shallow for my taste, I’m afraid.” Or who knows. Maybe one day she’ll have a problem with that bright orange aura of hers, just like you have with your pink one. She may grow wings and antlers, and then I’ll have to visit her. However, you’ll be dead by then.

She’s blushing at the conclusion that she’s more exciting to me than Mandy. I leave it at that. I like the way she looks away in her shyness as she unwinds the thread that hangs from the sleeve of her sweater.

“Enjoy.” The waiter places a cup topped with whipped cream and a straw in front of her.

She leans over, sips.

“My gosh; this is more delicious than I remembered! Sometimes my brother David invites me here, but it’s impossible to get bored of this taste.”

Just like I can’t get bored of this view. As her evenly thick pink lips close on the white straw, sucking, they apply slight pressure to the plastic. I wonder what it would be like if she were to embrace me? I throb, can almost feel her hot, narrow mouth on my dick. She’s never done it before, I’d be her first… She swallows and swallows. With the same pleasure when I devour souls.

Her aura is pulsing faster. Did she notice how absorbed I am in my thoughts?

“W-want some?“ She pushes the cup towards me.

Yes; I want you. Now.

“A little can’t hurt.” I take the cup before I can give her another reason for suspicion. Let her think it was the drink that I desired.

I bring the straw to my lips, as humans do, suck in, but before it reaches my body, I block it with my tongue. I imitate swallowing. Now it’s her turn to stare at my mouth with her big brown eyes.

“Anyway, as far as novels are concerned, I don’t just read youth literature. It’s just that Harry Potter is closely linked to my brother and the time I spent with him.”

“There’s no shame in it if you like boys with glasses and scars.” I slip the mug back.

She approaches the straw, pauses for a second. Clearly embarrassed that she’s going to touch it in the same place I did a while ago. I’m surprised that yesterday’s lust-tornado can blush at such a coy thought. How sweet.

I run my tongue along the inside of my teeth. They pulse with desire.

“Actually, I prefer the blond bad boys.”

Blood rushes to my cheeks, I adjust a white lock of hair to my back. Even though it’s meant to be innocent, such overt insinuations arouse me more than her vivacious aura. Especially from her inexperienced lips…

As soon as she realizes what has set my face aflame, she also blushes and puts her hand to her mouth, as if to retract what she has said. But it is too late.

My arousement intensifies…

Just as I am about to cross my legs, I bump into her moving leg under the table.

The hurricane comes to life, sweeps away mine.

She feels the same as I do. And tries to suppress it in the same way. The same movement, the same foot, the same time. I denied it in vain, there is no doubt about it now; that overheated energy that repulsed me so yesterday, that made me feel thrown off.

It’s my own energy.

I’m falling. Into the dark, icy depths of horror.

As if masturbating, I look into a bizarre mirror, from which a horny teenage virgin is looking back at me.

My blood gushes from my loins while she grows more and more excited. With trembling fingers, she pushes the glasses up her nose.

Her nose… That straight nose…

It’s my nose.

I instinctively touch mine, as if to check that it’s still in place and hasn’t moved to her face.

Cold claws of shiver scratch my spine.

Horror, disgust, rage…

The very existence of her makes a mockery of me.

Hatred arises in me.

She’s merely a target, my prey, yet it’s as if I’m becoming a victim of the confused emotions she evokes by the minute. I would like to lean over the table and suck the life out of her body, just to put an end to this grotesque game of nature. Here and now, in front of everyone.

However, this is not the right time or place. I force calm on myself.

“I-I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just… my brother and I were reading it together, and we were always competing to see who’d get to the end first, and we were arguing a lot. About Draco and Harry. He hated Malfoy, while I hated Potter. So much so that I ended up writing 212 pages of fanfiction to convince him.”

“About what?”

“That there’s a reason Draco is the way he is. It’s not clear from the book, but I was terribly interested. Envy? Inferiority complex? Oppression by his family, incomprehension? A need to prove himself? David says he is simply evil. But life is never that simple. I don’t believe that anything in the world is black or white.”

Beautiful words. But just words that many people say while in practice they do otherwise. I’d love to tell her that you’re dating your father’s murderer just to see the reaction. To see the horror on her face when she refutes her own statement.. I must resist the temptation. For now.

“Interesting point of view. Have you ever thought of becoming a writer?”

“Come on…” She pokes her tangled brown hair. “I wouldn’t be able to create my own worlds. Although, I’d like to learn another book-related trade. I would love to work in a printing house or a library.” She smiles. “But my parents wanted me to study law. Especially since my father died, I have no other choice if I want to make my mother happy… Oh my God, Mum!” She looks at her phone, panic gripping her. “I’m supposed to be home by now.”

It’s time for me to go too; Jev needs me, but this is an opportunity I shouldn’t miss.

“I’d be happy to drive you home.” I offer.

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you, but I’ve kept you long enough.”

“It seems to me I was the one who kept you up. Don’t worry; I’m done for the day.”

“You really don’t have to, there’s a bus to Hay Square in thirty minutes anyway…” Her voice trails off. She wants to spend more time with me, yet she’s reluctant. It’s as if she’s sensed the change in me. Which is impossible; I gave no sign of it. Is she afraid of me? Or of the bike? Both, perhaps.

“I’ll give you a lift if you let me. You’ll be home in 15 minutes.” I smile encouragingly.

She returns it half-heartedly, a look of doubt in her eyes, but finally she nods.

 

<< Previous                                                                                                                                                                                                    Next >>

She rolls off me, cuddles up to my side, resting her head on my chest. I gasp in relief, my skin still retaining the warmth of her body as her muscles tightened around me and she becomes absorbed in the pleasure. I can’t see her aura, yet I can feel the tension of millennia dissipate inside her. Even if only for a brief moment. It touches me deeply that I can give her the calm in the storm of everyday life.

Minutes pass, my body grows cold, and then these thoughts fade. My soul is like a broken glass; no matter how much passion I fill it with, it all flows over me without a trace. Until only emptiness remains.

I wonder if our intercourses leave a deeper impression in her.

“ Mm-hmm. I feel better now. Really.”

I don’t know what to say.

Freeing myself from the grip of her arms and round breasts, I sit on the edge of the bed. Putting on my shirt and trousers, fastening my belt. I flick my hair at my mobile phone on the dresser, look at the time; 8:30pm.

I softly brush my fingers through the wavy blue hair of the woman in the bed.

“Jev, your flight leaves in half an hour. Come, I’ll take you to the airport.”

She pulls the blanket over her head and covers it with a pillow, but now she answers in a man’s voice:

“Leave me be…”

I ignore it; she’ll wake up anyway. She got up last year too.

With a sigh, she crawls out of bed and opens the wardrobe. She could turn her skin into clothes, but when she meets too many people, it’s harder to control her abilities, so she plays it safe. Slowly, worriedly, she puts on a T-shirt emblazoned with her logo, a fur hoodie that has become almost iconic. I watch as her breasts recede, her hair straightens, her face reshapes.

“Why? Why today of all days must that mortal wench go to the library? She hasn’t been out of her room for two whole months, she really should have stayed a bit longer.” He pouts.

“I’ll be there with you tomorrow night. I promise.”

He puts on one of the straps of his backpack. As if with the bag, he now has double the worry I’ve got rid of. I can understand; the crowd that awaits him is taxing on a dragon’s mind.

“Thanks for reminding me.”

I take the helmet, voluntarily for once.

There is a few things I want to avoid at all cost, bursting into the public consciousness as Metamorph’s lover is definitely one of them.

 

<< Previous                                                                                                                                                                                                    Next >>

I find Anthony in the last row, packing.

“I’m going out for some fresh air.” I say.

Our eyes meet.

“Is everything all right?” He brushes back a brown hair hanging in his eye.

The monotonous ripple of his aura doesn’t tell me if he can see my agitation or if he’s just asking out of politeness.

“Of course, I’m just having a cigarette. I’ll be quick.”

“Take your time, there’s not much traffic today anyway…”

I’m leaving the department. The corridor is buzzing with emptiness, so I pause for a moment. I put my back against the wall, trying to process what’s happened.

When that girl bent down to pick up the book, only a very narrow margin of sanity separated her from throwing herself at me.

And? Would it have been so bad?

The mere memory of her raging energy field quenches my desire like a hurricane snuffs out a candle flame.

It’s strange. I usually like it when young girls hit on me in secluded places. But she… She followed me around, stalking me, seeming so natural, as if she was hunting me, not the other way around. Her aura… The hunger in her eyes…

The same thing I feel for my victims.

I could give her what she craves, as I have given so many of my prey before her, yet…

Who knows, maybe I will.

I glance at the door marked with the female figure that slammed behind her a few moments ago.

I rub my temples; I must be conscious by the time she’s done.

Making my way down the stairs, she is still on my mind.

She got so excited that she had to go to the restroom. I satisfy women on a weekly basis, but she’s the first one I’ve nearly managed to satisfy with a simple touch. The fact is so absurd that it makes me smile.

I make my way downstairs to the counter, where Emma is adding new books to the system, waiting for someone to ask for help. I step behind her, run my hand over her thin shirt-covered back, and as she stiffens, her aura begins its usual dance.

“You’re working so hard, you haven’t had a break since noon. Have a cup of coffee, I’ll take over.”

She lifts her round green eyes to me in wonder.

“I’m serious.”

“I’d love to drink one with you.”

“We can’t be both on break. As soon as Joshua’s back from sick leave, we can do that.”

“It’s a promise then.” She winks.

“Well, I’m off.” she goes, making sure to use the excuse of the tight space to make as much contact with me as possible.

I sit down and continue to register the books.

Footsteps sound from the direction of the stairs, and Talia appears.

Different from before; her energy heavy with repressed emotions, full of hopeless bitterness, guilt. Her posture is slightly hunched, shoulders hunched forward. She walks to the counter, but carefully avoids my gaze. It’s as if she knows I’m reading her aura and is ashamed to be aroused in a public place. I almost say there’s nothing wrong, it also happens to me, but I bite my tongue. To tell her would be just as terrifying as inviting her straight to my flat.

In thought, she might be happy to take the opportunity, but in reality, her common sense would immediately sound the alarm. No matter, sooner or later I’ll break the boundaries of her sanity.

She fishes her library card out of her pocket with one hand and holds it out to me, along with the books. I’ve been analyzing her borrowing history for two months, so I know that none of her books, apart from Harry Potter, are in her interests, but if she’s game, so am I.

She looks over my shoulder.

I’m suffocated by the disgust and self-loathing with which she lashes herself. As if she’s not the girl I met in the section above… Perhaps I just misread her reaction.

Or did I?

Taking advantage of her not daring to look at me, when she reaches for the books after documenting the borrowing, I put my hand under hers. Let’s see if I can whip up that hurricane again.

As soon as her ice-cold fingers touch the back of my hand, she flinches, her melancholy aura swelling into a tsunami.

“Excuse me, I… I…” She hurries to pack her bag.

Says goodbye without looking back and storms out.

Her library card is still in my hand. She didn’t even notice I forgot to give it back.

I smile.

This will be easier than I thought.

 

<< Previous                                                                                                                                                                                                    Next >>

Family.There was a time when I was fascinated by this elusive, mysterious concept just as much as I was by traditional nutrition. Excitement is an understatement. I was obsessed with it, maniacally searching for a way to fill the void that its absence had created in my life.

It started when I was six, when Alden and I moved to Oakdale, a human settlement. The Alliance believed that it was time for me to experience the companionship of children my age, to fit into the community. To face it; what I am, to most mortals, is a monster to be destroyed. I had to learn how to hide that part of me in a civilized environment. It proved difficult, especially in the beginning; to not only breathe when I talk and to have my heart beating when I am asleep. But there were other things that I found hard to come to terms with. The other kids at school all had something I didn’t.

Parents.

I knew the definition – as well as many other things from Alden’s memory – but it was then that I came to realize that it was not merely a biological imperative to reproduce and raise offspring, but rather a kind of emotional attachment. They speak to them kindly, hug them, and do it all with such a happy, accepting aura that the mere memory of it still brings blood to my eyes to this day. Even if they are sometimes scolded or beaten up, they do it with a strange empathy and care. I would have given anything for Alden to treat me the same way. I felt the fact that half of his soul lived inside me entitled me to such desires. But as soon as he got wind of the kind of thoughts I had in mind, he made sure that I would never again, even by chance, think of calling him my father. Our relations were different; full of distance, rejection, terror, hatred, in which there was no room for such affections. It has not changed since; after all, I made him mortal. If I were to die, I would take him with me. How could he possibly like anything that threatens him?

So I gave up trying to “start a family” with him, but I didn’t give up on the fact that I would be accepted, even loved, somewhere, someday.

First with Richard, then with Renald and Ashe, I have experienced what people define as “family”. Then came Lili…

I lost them all.

And now, after all these years, here in the Underworld, my biological mother, brother and sister appear. I don’t feel any better. Their blood tingles under my skin like an alien entity. I would like to slit my veins just to get rid of the overwhelming agony that I should feel something. Anger, enthusiasm, curiosity, anything…

But I feel nothing.

When I recall them, they’re just unfamiliar faces, unfamiliar names.

And Talia is a target. Someone I’m going to kill.

“You sure you don’t want me to sneak in as a poisonous spider and take her out?” Jev appears in the open doorway of the next room.

“I’ll give her another week. Then it’s your turn.”

 

<< Previous                                                                                                                                                                                                    Next >>

The colours of the city are receding, the fields and forests fading into a blur in the light of the traffic lights. The road is deserted, the area uninhabited – the perfect setting for a suicide; no wonder the victim travels this route several times a week. And yet he does not do it.

But I will.

The asphalt speeds up under the wheels, the wind whips my hair. I enjoy the speed as it washes the thoughts from my mind, leaving pure euphoria behind. Freedom. The same freedom as when, at five, Alden decided to stop cutting my wings and let me fly for the first time.

To this day I can feel the air resistance sweeping away years of dread, the anxiety of limits and rules, the oppression and there is no power to pull me back down to earth.

Although I’m not allowed to sprout wings here in the Underworld, the roaring bike below me makes up for it somewhat. I glance at the instrument panel; 90 km/h. My palms itch to accelerate, but it would be suspicious to get any closer to the silver Mercedes in front of me. Its red lights flicker on and off on the horizon, but the driver’s fierce pink aura is impossible to miss. How nervous. As if he knows… I smile, my hair twitching hungrily behind me, though the helmet on my head slightly impedes the flow of energy. Like a rope on an limb about to be amputated. I’d prefer never to put it on, but sometimes it makes sense to follow human’s rules. I can’t let them fine me now. It would take too much time and I would lose the target.

Jev behind me, on the other hand, can enjoy speeding without limits, after all, during a possible traffic control he can simply distort her head into the shape of a helmet – in the same way she sometimes grows a dress – or turn into a fly and disappear into the night.

At a sharp turn, her arms tighten around my waist, her breasts pressed against my back. She could have jumped into Morawa’s car at the start, but she wouldn’t miss the chance to ride snuggled up against me. At other times I might find her closeness arousing, but at the moment I need to concentrate on the road and the surroundings, the trees, the bushes…

We pass the second wildlife danger sign. The dark crown of the huge oak tree we have chosen appears on the horizon.

Are there any witnesses? If need be, the Alliance’s clean-up units will do a thorough job after taking out a victim, but they’ll deduct from my pay if I leave too many clues.

Jev gently places her slender, feminine hand on my shoulder, signalling that we are alone. At times like this, I’m a little envious that she can pick out the fragments of thoughts of those in the same airspace as her from miles away, while I, without horns, can only detect auras within my field of vision.

I accelerate, the engine roars. I reach the car in no time at all, I turn my indicators, pull alongside it to overtake it and allow Jev to find her way inside in the form of a tiny insect, when I notice that the window is open. I direct my waving hair to my left side so Jev can also see the opportunity.

The oak on the side of the road is getting closer.

Jev’s embracing arms let go, the warmth of her body is replaced by cool air. Thanks to the sudden loss of weight, I can effortlessly cut in front of the Mercedes.

I reach the tree.

I can almost see Jev assuming human form in the passenger seat and pulls the steering wheel aside, allowing just enough time for the driver to recover and brake before the collision. If he hadn’t, he’d end up dead and I’d have to find something else to eat.

The thud of the crash fills the area. It’s as if a tank, not a car, had slammed into the massive trunk of a centuries-old oak.

Soon after, I brake only to spin around with a quick drift. The tires squeal, the bike tilts and I go down with it. My knees slide just an inch above the asphalt, my fingers could easily touch the ground. I love the way the moment stretches out and even at this unreal angle, I control the vehicle as if it were part of my body. It’s almost like flying. Almost.

I arrive back at the oak, stop the engine. Jev is leaning against the tree, waiting for me with her arms folded, slightly turned away. Despite being a thousand-year-old dragon who dismembers and eats humans without batting an eye, she’s averse to the sight of their souls being annihilated.

I take my helmet off. The evening breeze stirs my tortured hair, the hunger in them stirring to a new appetite, crying out for salvation with increasing urgency. I walk to the smoking wreck. The car chassis, immaculate only minutes ago, now shows its metallic insides, wrinkled like skin, smelling of oil and petrol. The windscreen has been shattered by a tree branch. If I couldn’t see the fading movement of the man’s aura, I’d be sure he is dead. The deformed door miraculously squeaks open, revealing the victim’s body collapsed on the airbag. He moves as if to get out. But he cannot.

“P-please help… my… leg…” He coughs, blood dripping from his lips to his chin, his eyes clouded with pain and shock. His helplessness gives me a deep sense of satisfaction. How pained he is, how panicked… And I can be the one to liberate him from his suffering, along with his life.

I lean against the roof of the car, bend down. The sense of power makes me smile, but as he turns his tortured, blood-streaked face towards me, my face turns grim.

Those pale grey eyes, that square chin, that sunken face…

Suddenly I realize why he looks so familiar; the memory pierces my consciousness like an arrow. A remembrance from Alden’s mind.

Of my birth.

This man was there.

So it’s not just a coincidence; I really do bear his name. However, he is not my father. My father was executed months before I was born for impregnating a human woman as a parasite.

Anger flares up inside me. For fifty-five years this guy lived out his dull, charming days as a doxi, completely ignorant, while I was dragged to Etrina as soon as I was born. Me, the monster. The monster that doesn’t fit into the idyllic world of humanity’s sprawling lies. For years, while I was tortured and despised, this man lived here with his wife. With his children. With all that I never had.

And he didn’t even appreciate it.

“Please…” His ranting reaches me from afar, through the thick fog of envy and anger.

He holds out his hand towards me, laced with broken fingers.

How dare you?

My hair takes on a life of its own, curling around his arm, neck, torso, pushing him back into the seat. I lean into the wreckage, into his cloud of pink energy, inhaling the rusty, salty smell of his fear.

But his quivering aura is suddenly renewed by the realization…

Yes, I am a monster; just like you.

With the rest of his strength as he tries to get free, cries out to me:

“What do you think you’re doing? Do you know who I am? James Morawa, the son of that Steven Morawa, the star lawyer…”

“In death, everyone is equal.“ My soft, cold words drown out his shout.

I part my lips, open my teeth. His soul flows into me swiftly, like a vortex into the abyss. A solid satisfaction tingles my gums, my scalp, my whole being throbs with pleasure. I immerse myself in it, let each moment push hunger, anger, suffering out, until finally only satiety, strength and freedom remains.

When I’m done, I let go, its wrinkled carcass collapses onto the airbag.

I back away, signaling to Jev that I’m done, and she can burn the remains.

I take a deep breath of fresh, cool air. I’ve taken his life, his soul, and it fills me with happy satisfaction. As a child, I thought myself a monster because of it.

But now I don’t care.

I smile.

After all, I like being a monster.

Behind me, blue flames stretch skywards from the wreckage, and then an explosion of yellowish claws of petrol and oil tears the vehicle further apart. It’s completely engulfed by fire, the stench of burnt flesh mingling with the hot, stinging wind.

I walk to the bike, get on. I take hold of the helmet, but don’t put it on yet; I watch the flames reflect off the shiny black surface.

Jev climbs on behind me, talks to me, but all I can hear is Emma’s cheerful voice echoing in my head, to the rhythm of my heart, over and over.

Do you also have a brother or sister?

It seems I do. For now.

 

<< Previous                                                                                                                                                                                                    Next >>

The glass dome of the library floods the reading room in the central lobby with afternoon sunlight, dyes the plants golden in the corners and the dust in the air. I sit at one of the central tables by the railing, which offers a perfect view of the lower levels and the entrance. It may be naive and futile to expect her to appear so soon, but since I have no other clue, gotta start somewhere. In the meantime, I’m flipping through the cookbook in front of me. From my birth, I have been fascinated time and again by the fact that all creatures other than my species use their teeth to grind the food, which is then digested through their stomach and intestines, thus nourish their organs. I wonder if these “lower life forms,” like humans, experience the same overwhelming pleasure from eating as I do from soul-draining?

Focus on the task.

I glance around, but nothing has changed; five people are still reading in the hall. Or at least, they are when they manage to focus. The men eye me with suspicion now and then, while the women steal heated glances in my direction. From the corner of my eye, I catch the restless flicker of their auras, showing the emotions hidden behind their indifferent expressions. I’ve been stared at all my life—because of my white hair and because of Alden’s reputation—yet I’ve never grown used to it.

Someone laughs. The sound came from a young woman at the door of the Audiobook and Music section with a tall man wearing glasses. Suddenly she falls silent, puts her hand to her mouth in remorse, then continues to laugh softly. The tucked shirt accentuates her slender waist, the black trousers cling to her slim legs and firm, round bottom. Her freckled face is slightly flushed with cheerfulness.

Reminds me of Lili. Except that Lili was ashamed of her freckles and did her best to hide them. But this girl doesn’t seem to feel that way, she radiates confidence. She even pulled her sand blonde hair back, revealing her round face. When she manages to pull a serious face, lowers her hand in front of her proportionate mouth. I watch as she speaks. As her lips form the words. I imagine her eating the meat pictured on the page in front of me. Slowly, with pleasure. Just like Lili ate the fries dipped in blood. A sight that I couldn’t get enough of for years, even though I saw it day after day. There is something inexplicably exciting about the way others eat. Bringing food to their mouths, chewing, swallowing… Always tempting me to get my teeth into their souls and take them in…

Enough. This is not why I’m here. This book is a distraction, time to look for something else to read before…

“Mushroom-stuffed chicken breast with sweet potato puree?”

The voice of the laughing girl. Up close, behind my back. As she leans over my shoulder, I inhale the aroma of her rosewater perfume.

“I’d love to taste it.” She whispers.

Okay, I’m done. The last shred of my self-control dissipates. A shiver runs down my spine, blood rushes to my loin.

I once had an elf friend who could control the autonomic functions of his body with his thoughts alone. I would give much for that ability now, so I could stand up, drop the conversation with an evasive answer and take the book back. But unfortunately I’m not an elf, so I remain seated, cross my legs and wait for the awkward posture to dissipate the problem. It makes me angry to be nailed to the chair, helpless. My face is burning.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Devin, right?” she smiles and sits down in front of me – thank God.

“I’m Emma. Emma Langston.” She extends her hand across the table.

I shake her hand firmly, making sure I give the impression of a man who is measured, calm and definitely not struggling with an erection.

Her grip is unusually firm for a woman, her palms are cold and clammy with excitement.

“Excuse me, have we met?” My voice is so composed, I’ve surprised myself.

“The whole staff talking about the white-haired guy with three degrees who came here to pack books. I was curious too; it’s rare that they hire someone so overqualified. I decided to ask you on Monday why you applied here, but now I saw you and thought…”

What, that you come here and flirt with me? Her happy freckles are captivating.

Lili…

No. It’s not why I came here. She’s just holding me back. I have to get rid of her. How simple it would be if I could be honest with her! If I could tell her that I applied for the job to kill someone. That the job interview went so quickly and smoothly because the director is a human agent for the Alliance; a Watcher. Or I could tell her the price I paid for my multidisciplinary knowledge. That I am the reincarnation of the Dragon of Death’s half soul. That I grew up in perpetual terror and contempt because of it, and for the first years of my life I was allowed to exist only as a severed head, carefully locked away lest someone could try to use me to take Alden’s life. That I would remain alive as a decapitated energy vampire, after all, my hair is where the drained souls are stored. Yes, I feed on souls, which are then consumed and never reborn. And at the moment I desire her lovely grey aura as much as her body.

Ultimately, I say this:

“I have always loved to read. Books are intelligent and discreet. They do not force their unnecessary ideals on me. When I open them, they share what’s inside, and when I close them, they keep quiet. There is no resentment, no expectation of reciprocation. I think I prefer their company to that of humans.”

“Cookbooks?” She keeps pushing the envelope.

“I like to cook.”

“Just for yourself or for someone else?”

“That depends…”

The door to the adult section swings open and a girl with a pink aura rushes out, running behind Emma, down the stairs. Like a thief caught in the act. Downstairs, she brakes suddenly and joins the queue snaking up to the lending counter.

“Pff, the youth of today! Always in a hurry. Zero tolerance. Just like my brother… ” she talks and talks. I listen politely, nodding occasionally, but from the corner of my eye I look at the girl hurrying along.

It’s her. She must have come in when I was distracted. Her hair is floppy, her face flushed with haste. Jev was right; she is indeed fuller than shown in her Facebook profile picture, though the well-worn black men’s sweater hides her seemingly proportionate figure. I’d love to rip it off. It’s a shame that women of similar body type often have low self-esteem; they might even find it suspicious if they were called to a room straight away. I would lose my chance with this introverted girl. That’s why I applied for the job; it will probably take several meetings to gain her trust.

With a nervous, fidgety movement, she pulls her brick-sized smartphone out of her bag and glances at the screen. Again and again, every second. As if she should already be somewhere else.

No, this is not the time to talk to her. I’d just embarrass her. Just like Emma would be if I suddenly left her. If only I could…

“…do you also have a brother or sister?”

“No, I don’t.”

No family, no children. I only know the dictionary definitions of these terms and what I’ve seen of them in the worlds, but I’ve never experienced it myself.

And I never will.

At the mere thought of infertility and loneliness, my blood runs cold. The gaping hole in my soul cries out more and more urgently for another pleasure to fill it with. Even if it’s only for a short time…

“Are you all right? You look tired.”

“Maybe I am” I smile bitterly.

“Rest up for Monday! You’re assigned with me. ” She winks. “I’m looking forward to it.”She stands up with the triumphant momentum of a winner.

“I also…”

…look forward to see you again, Talia.

 

<< Previous                                                                                                                                                                                                    Next >>

“The male is an easy target. True, he leaves the house only once or twice a week, by car, but always late at night, in a disturbed state of mind, after informing the whole house of his suicidal tendencies…”

“What about the girl? ” I ask, without taking my eyes off my laptop screen.

“She is your type: young and stupid.”

“For a dragon thousands of years old, I’m young and stupid too” I glance at her over the glowing cigarette butt.

“That’s different,” she puts her hand in her pocket. “You are the reincarnation of half of Alden’s soul, so you count as a dragon. The difference is that you have a reproductive organ and more kindness in you.”

“You’ve had a lot to drink if you mistake an energy vampire for a dragon.”

“Don’t twist my words. You know what I mean. Until the druids sewed the seperation seals on you, your mind was completely merged with Alden’s. You know his abilities, his secrets, his memories as your own. You’ve lived through the extinction of the dinosaurs, the wiping out of the Southern Continent, the founding of the Alliance…”

And to experience the pleasure of having my head ripped off again and again, he was delighted to see that its not enough to kill me.

“True, you weren’t even five years old. I’m sorry. Truly. For what happened and for bringing it up.”

I bury myself in the black letters of the white website, as I have done so many times in the last two weeks. I scroll back through Talia Morawa’s posts, looking back over the years, to see if any information I’ve missed might give me a clue to get me started. However, the profile page still only consists of birthday greetings. Different from most of her peers. She doesn’t go out, and has only a few friends – if any. No Twitter or Instagram, just a Facebook profile with barely fifty acquaintances, on which she never shared anything. Apart from her profile picture, three years ago.

“I think it’s older than that” she elbows the table. ” She’s put on a few pounds since then”

I’m aware that what I’m seeing is a perfectly retouched ID photo and is obviously far from the reality, but I enlarge it anyway. Sadly shining eyes, a sweet smile, shiny brown hair. I can almost feel her pale, silky skin under my hands. The vibration of her fear in my hair. Her soul – I lift the cigarette to my lips, slowly, deeply inhaling the smoke – flows hotly between my teeth. The promise of pleasure shivers down my spine, my loin throbs.

“I thought smoking was an appetite suppressant for you, not a masturbatory aid” She plucks it from my fingers, then with a quick movement pushes it into the skull-shaped ashtray.

What was that? Jealousy?

“Oh please; you consume more women than cigarettes. You just need to stop for a while, because if you keep smoking, she won’t even talk to you.”

“For the time being, it is also doubtful whether I can get close to her. If there’s any data, it’s unavailable to outsiders. Not a single like, not a single comment. She is not a member of any group, and merely follows two pages that are useless to me.”

One is her school. A vibrant energy field of hundreds of young people in a single building… Too much temptation and too many witnesses. The other is Realms of the Afterlife; the MMORPG that Jev spends three quarters of his time on.

“I’d tell you to play too, but this female is so introverted that she doesn’t even dare accept a team invitation, let alone engage in conversation.”

I don’t expect any change in the outcome, but in my perplexity I look again at the pages she follows. I am stunned. She has added the local library.

I click on it immediately. Opening hours, summer prize draw, more books, then a job advert.

They’re looking for a librarian…

 

<< Previous                                                                                                                                                                                                    Next >>

Thunder splits the night sky in two, illuminating the room. She is shivering, but I’m not.  Effortlessly, I remove the wet shirt that clings to her slim figure, unhook her lace bra and pull her fragile body close to me. Her figure is the same as Lili’s. Lili… My pulse quickens, I stroke her slender shoulders, her small, firm breasts and her waist. My lips reaching her elegant neck, goosebumps spread over her body in response to my touch. Traveling downward, I kiss her chest. I feel her heart rage beneath my lips like a caged animal, her tiny nipples twitching for a touch. Sweet and salty. My hand slips under her trousers. Her firm, round buttocks pressed into my palm. Slowly, gradually, I strip her of the protection of the remainder of her clothing as her legs quiver. She’s young and without experience…every inch of her trembles to be corrupted by me.

My hand wanders to the inside of her thigh, wet from rain and desire… wet for me. With just a few strokes, my mere presence makes her feel this way. I tingle with satisfaction, with the power to do anything to her. I open her clean-shaven labia, her clit swelling with desire against my palm. Gently, entering with one finger, then another. There is no resistance, her body throbs and yields around me. Perhaps I’m not her first.

But I will be the last.

I push her down on the bed, my hard loin pressed against her soft belly. I run my fingers through her lush blue hair and kiss her. Her tongue slides eagerly into my mouth, brushing against my teeth, her aura vibrating around me like an intoxicating cloud of desire. My gums and scalp are numb with hunger, but I resist the temptation. For now.

Her trembling fingers move behind my ear, penetrating my hair. The pain freezes me. Like ten sharp scalpels digging into living flesh. The monster wants to break out from under my skin. I want to see her face turn cold, and return the agony she has caused. Patience… I take her thin wrist and lay it back on the blanket. Gently, so as not to arouse suspicion. I roll onto my back as my head sinks into the protection of the pillow and she climbs on top of me. Her hands roam my broad chest, my abs. Her hands explore my body, her eyes full of awe, as if she had been waiting for me all her life. She kneels between my legs, leaning closer and closer, her erratic breath caressing my loins. Her hot tongue pushes against the tip. I grab her head carefully, pulling her onto my dick. Her mouth embraces me willingly, her lips loose yet tight. I gasp. She lets me sink deeper into her, I feel her throat relax. She sucks gently, irresistibly, almost begging me to cum in her mouth. The grey particles of her energy swirl impatiently. I’m amazed at how deeply aroused she has become by serving me. Her hips move with desire. I long for her too. But she does it so well… too well. Just a little more…

She walks away and bends down to pick up her bag. At first, I don’t understand what she is looking for, then I realize she doesn’t know much about me.

I open my mouth, then close it.

Sure, why not?

“You wanted to say something?” She drops the bag.

“Just that your hair looks so much more beautiful in waves.”

She blushes, brushing back a wet lock of her once-straightened hair, then tears open the wrapper, places the condom on my dick, and rolls it on. It clings to my skin and wraps me in the old confidence that I thought I had lost a long time ago. My breathing accelerates as she strokes me again and again, trying to force all the air out. She’s afraid that I’ll make her pregnant.

Because she thinks of me as a full man.

I tense up, force her onto her back and spread her legs. Impatiently, she lifts her hips, but I thrust into her slowly, savouring every tiny fold of her tight body, her appreciative throbbing. I lean over her, my long white hair falling like a curtain around us. She grips the back of my head to pull me closer, but I hold both her hands down.

What’s your hurry? You’ll get to know my hair soon enough. From the inside.

I press myself into her, as her moans of pleasure sends shivers down my spine. I sink into her again and again. The desire for orgasmic relief pushes thoughts of the outside world far from my mind. She wraps her legs around my waist, holding me in the depths of her writhing insides. Her body arches, her muscles tighten around me. I want to flow into her. Fill her womb, her belly. Feel the veins pulse from excursion. So when I consume her, she will fill me to overflowing. My teeth tingle, my hairs stand on end with emptiness. Patience… allow her to come one last time, just for me. I wait, then with one last firm thrust, the pleasure bursts out of me.

Gently, I settle on her panting chest, wait for the heat to subside… and another kind of desire starts to take hold.

Her muffled giggles mingle with the sound of rain.

“What’s so funny?”

“My friends said you are dangerous.”

I smile.

“Do you like danger?”

“As much as I’d like to do it all over again.”

Again? Who said we were done?

I grasp the sides of her head, gently with my hands, pulling her close for a kiss. Deeply, passionately. I sense her aura trembling as it did the first time she looked at me. Just as desperate with desire. A misty rapture begins to consume my mind, as she lies beneath me. Exposed. Powerless. She is mine.

I open my teeth. Greedily, without restraint, I suck her life into me. The orgasmic sensation bites through my gums, my bones, all the way to the tips of my hair. Life, strength, freedom… Revitalizing. My white strands snake through the air, coming to life on their own, and this time I have no thought of ordering them. My horns pierce the skin of my temples, wings tear free from my back. Warm blood trickles down my face, down my spine, but I don’t care. Let her see what I am.

Her eyes open wide in terror. She wants to scream, to jerk her head away, but I hold her tight. She tries to fight me off with her hands and feet. How naive… My hair wraps around her limbs, her arms, her legs, stretching them, holding her firmly in place.

She twitches helplessly, but as her strength fades, her twitches subside.

Her grey energy field gradually fades. Her skin withers, her tongue dries in my mouth, the last beats of her heart pounding on my dick. By the time I’ve absorbed the last drop of her soul, the light in her eyes is gone.

Good girl.

I roll off her wrinkled carcass. My hair slicked back, once again tame, saturated, my veins bubbling with energy.

The rain has stopped, the open window is moved gently by the soft wind.

I want to leap out of the window and fly into the night sky. I can almost feel the lukewarm breeze in my hair, the dampness between my membranous fingers. The speed. My wings itch with the desire for flight.

But this is not allowed. Not here, in the human world.

My wings, my horns return to the inside – sinking back into my skin without a trace.

I take a deep breath, my lungs fill with the warm air. The smell of musky wet concrete penetrates my nose. A streetlight flickers yellow. The sound of a car’s wheels wading through the puddle breaks the quiet of the night. Then silence falls, which fills me with emptiness

I feel cold; only the blood left over from the transformation ploughs my skin with an oppressive heat, flooding me with all the pain and loss of the past, which I try to forget at every turn. Touching my temple my fingers are stuck in a dark, sticky mass. The horror pulses faster in my veins, my heart skips a beat.

I have to wash it off. Immediately.

I take off the condom, roll over on the edge of the bed…

A blue and white crow flies onto the window sill. As it shakes off the water, its shape begins to grow. Its wings elongate, becoming arms and hands, its beak forms into a mouth, its feathers take on the appearance of blue hair, furry top and thight trousers.

The attractive woman walks further in, leaving wet footprints on the carpet. Fortunately, I’m sitting with my back to her, so I don’t have to turn away. The urge to rush to the bathroom burns me, but I stay seated, blending into the shadows of the room. If only she would forget about me and go into her room…

The mattress sinks in beside me, her white feet poking at the torn wrapping.

“Most males would be happy to get rid of it, and you put it on unnecessarily?”

I hide the rubber in my palm. My skin burns with shame. It feels so good to forget it for a moment…

She squeezes my shoulder comfortingly.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”

“Is that so?”

Her hand slips away from my arm, as a shadow passes over her face. It is the shadow of a thousand years of barren satisfaction.

I get up, go to the bathroom. I close the door, as if that could shut her out of my mind. I hate that she is a dragon, capable of reading my most intimate thoughts, while I cannot even see her aura.

I move to the bin under the sink. Jev’s words echo in my ears, paralyzing me.

“… and you put it on unnecessarily?”

The girl is dead.

But even if she were alive, she wouldn’t need it.

My fingers tighten around the wet material. I should get rid of it. Just throw it away, don’t look at it.

Yet I look at it. The white mass in the transparent latex.

Just like then, years ago, in another world…

 

 

I hold it under the tap and pour water into it. The rubber expands, white shapes float in the liquid. I turn it around in the light of the arched bathroom window. No bruise or damage anywhere.

“Don’t throw it out until I’ve checked.” A girl’s voice rings out from the pitch-black dormitory. Soon a long-robed, shaggy figure appears. In a hurry, she stumbles on the doorstep and snarls as she flicks back her blonde curls, irritated at the sudden light and holds out her hand to me.

I smile at her distrust and hand it over. She examines it closely, turning over in her hands.

“Well, do you see anything?”

“It looks like a snow globe.”

I try to keep a straight face, without success. I laugh softly, but admire her for finding beauty in such a thing.

“Laugh all you want! It brings me great comfort to know that I am not pregnant.”

“Awelon will need an heir to the throne sooner or later.”

“From you?” She growls at me with contempt I can’t ignore.

“What about Logan?” I fold my arms across my chest, knowing full well that the mention of the Vampire-hunter prince touches a nerve.

“No way! I shudder at the very thought of some creature we call a ’child’ feeding on me.”

“You feed on me too.” I wipe a spot of blood from her chin.

“That’s different. I’m not growing inside you like a tumour.”

“Interesting point. You should share it with Logan; he’d be guaranteed to call off the engagement.”

“The nobles would kill me. Besides, it’s in Awelon’s best interests…”

She spills the water, then throw the condom out. The air freezes. I’d do anything to erase the future that’s waiting for her. If nothing else, to make her feel better.

She’s about to pass me when I wrap my arms around her from behind and swing her back into the bathroom.

“Where to in such a hurry?”

“To meet some nobles.”

“Like that?”

She lifts the robe slightly at the shoulder, sniffing under it.

“Take a shower with me.”

“Only if you close the blinds” she folds her robe, hiding her freckled ankles.

Of course: without two kilos of powder, five layers of lace and a dress buttoned to the waist, she wouldn’t show her face even if it meant banishing Logan. The only vampire in a human-inhabited state, already lost her virginity, but still ashamed of her freckles. She hasn’t the faintest idea that it’s these little ‘flaws’ that make her natural. Unique. And irresistibly attractive.

“What if I want to see you?” my breath ruffles the hairs on the back of her neck.

“You don’t. Believe me.”

“I’d argue with that.”

My groin pressed against her back, I lean down to her, my tongue is running along the base of her ear.

She winces, laughs.

“Hey, stop it!”

Not a chance. My fingers dig into the thick fabric around her belly. She laughs even louder, her green particles dancing back and forth. She tries to break free, but my arms hold her in place. I tickle her until she laughs so freely that she can’t defend herself.

 

 

However, years later, after her marriage to Logan hit the rocks and we started a new life far away from Awelon, she would have done anything to get pregnant.

 

 

I spread a clean tablecloth on the table, place the freshly baked potatoes, the napkin, the salt, and with trembling hands, I set the table for one person. I carefully align the fork and the plate and the glass. I step back to check the overall effect. The midday sun shines on the cream-coloured silk, glinting off the silver cutlery. Two hours ago, when I was struggling with the iron, I had serious doubts about the result, but now they are gone. It’s exactly as it should be.

I look up at the clock. Lili has just finished at the café and will be home in about fifteen minutes. My eyes flick to the calendar hanging under the clock, with today’s date circled thickly to mark her ovulation. An uncomfortable numbness creeps up my spine. She keeps thinking that I will forget, even though I’ve already calculated her fertile days for the next year too.

I turn to the sink and get ready to remove the traces of my kitchen clumsiness. Mechanically, I pull on the rubber gloves and turn on the tap, while the circled number glows indelibly in my mind. 13 September. Not just the middle of her cycle, exactly two years ago on this day, Lili lost everything. Her throne, her people, her life, her child. The child who never had the chance to be born.

Logan’s child.

The wall clock is clicking. I’d like to smash it to the floor. That racist, arrogant prince succeeded right away, but I still couldn’t get her pregnant in six months. When we decided, I knew my species had a low fertility rate. She knew it too. Still… A voice kept thumping in my head to the rhythm of my pulse: You are not enough. You’ll never be able to give it to her. She deserves better. You’ll never have a family. You have no future.

Blood swirling down the drain. I have no idea when I washed the dishes or when I made my hands into fists. The yellow rubber gloves hang in orange shreds from my claws. I immediately throw it out, rubbing my already healed hands together under running water. Lili must not see…

“Hello there!”

I flinch in fright.

“When did you…?”

Her broadly smiling face, her pretty figure dressed in the black and white uniform of a waiter, banishes the darkness from my mind. From beneath the unbuttoned shirt at his neck, an angel-shaped onyx pendant flashes out. My heart overflows with love.

“You think too much.” She shakes her head.

“Sometimes you do too.” I ruffle her blonde curls.

“That’s for sure: I’ve been thinking about chips for weeks. But what do I make of this? Are you exempting me from the torture of human beings that’s known as healthy diet?”

“Today I’m giving you permission to feast. But only today.”

She’s right at the table, pouncing on the potatoes like a predator on its prey. She reaches in, brings it to her mouth. For a moment, I feel embarrassed for having carefully laid the table, but her green aura of dancing happiness makes up for my wasted effort.

“So just today?” Her pleading gaze glances over my shoulder, catches on the calendar.

The air freezes, fries fall on the tablecloth. Her smile fades, the gleam in her violet eyes fades. Her face ages years from the horror. The agitated bouncing of her aura reveals she’s swallowing her tears.

I want to say something. Anything to lift her from the mire of the past, but I can’t. There are no words to ease the pain that she’s been through.

You couldn’t save her. You are not enough. You never were…

A lock of my hair wraps around the bottle lying on the kitchen counter and places it on the table. A muffled knock brings Lili back to the present.

“Is that…?” she reaches for the blood-filled bottle.

“I killed someone and I thought…”

“You killed someone?!” Her voice trembles, knowing how much I love to eat in bed. „Couldn’t you have waited…?”

“It was a man.” An occasion of exception.

“Did you really fuck a man?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Today is as important to me as it is to you. I’m not gonna waste it on some half-hour fling. Besides, you know me; I don’t sleep with men.”

She laughs.

“Too bad. Even if you hadn’t, I would have sacrificed a month to see that.”

“I’m sorry, Lili, but there are things I wouldn’t do for you.”

“You’re willing to do a lot of things you once said you’d never do.” She winks and starts to eat.

One potato after another disappears between her smiling lips, her teeth grinding slowly behind her narrow mouth, savouring the moment. She swallows, my eyes greedily drinking in every tiny move of her neck. My loin strains against my trousers. I wish she’d take me in her mouth…

“You’re really into something.” As soon as she says it, her pale, freckled face takes on a darker hue.

“I still love watching you eat.”

“I love watching you eat too.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I love realizing again and again that I’m the only one who’s ever lived to see the morning beside you. Well, to tell you the truth, I was a little jealous at first. I thought I was gonna bite that giggling bitch’s throat. But then, when I saw the way you took possession of her body, her soul… the way you took her in touch by touch, only to destroy her inside and out. The look on her face when she realizes she’s not going to make it out alive… Priceless.”

Her words melt my shivering soul. I’m deeply touched that she understands and accepts me so. That I don’t have to lie, hide and pretend to be someone I’m not. Moreover, she shares my pleasure.

I’m throbbing, my pants are getting uncomfortable. I’d like to have her right there. I wonder if she feels the same way on the other side of the table. I’m about to cross my legs, but she slides her foot between my knees. She knows me too well. Her foot touches my erection, while she takes her time to munch on some potatoes – don’t torture me… – and drinks from the bottle.

“I thought your diet was rather monotonous and it would be good to drink from others, but there is too many preservatives in the blood from the shops…”

“It’s cute when you talk so much in your embarrassment.”

She gets up from the table, walks over to me, sits on my lap. Her black skirt slides up her thighs, her femininity pressed against my dick. She must be wearing very thin underwear, because I can feel her warmth through the fabric.

„You know Devin, it’s all awfully nice of you and that other guy is delicious too, but I prefer your taste.” She pulls my shirt aside, her pointed teeth sinks into my neck. My blood rushes into her with a pleasant, tingling feeling. It feels good. Her closeness, and that she wants me, in every sense. That my body feeds her, that her life depends on me…

And her happiness, her future.

Doubt digs its icy claws into me. It’s choking me, but I overcome it. I must. I’d do anything to heal the wounds Logan inflicted on her.

Anything…

 

 

…but It was not enough.

Infertility clinic.

Blood collection.

Gynaecology.

Andrology.

„It is well known that energy vampires have a below average active sperm count, but your sample contains no live sperm at all.”

Biopsy.

„Histological examination confirmed Sertoli Cell Only Syndrome. This is a permanent condition, there is no cure.”

„Is there no solution?”

„Donor insemination or adoption.”

Something died in me then and there. I would have done anything to fulfill her wish. To see her purple eyes sparkling with happiness again.

 

 

But I never will.

 

 

The meat grinder of failure keeps destroying my insides, my hairs stick to the blood of my back. I glance in the mirror; my face is framed by dark streaks.

The blue tiles begin a mocking dance at the edge of my vision. As if my soul has escaped my body along with my blood.

I throw away the condom and get in the shower. The hot water splashes over my scalp, cleansing my mind of thoughts, washing away the red waves of the past. It drips down through my hair and down my back, warming my feet. This warm emptiness…

It’s pleasant.

Just like that girl with the blue hair was. I recall her longing eyes, her gaping mouth, her soft warmth, the heady feeling of her soul flowing into me. Her terror. The power. The freedom.

I want to live it again. As soon as possible. I wonder if I have a new assignment. I haven’t checked the mailbox today, it is time to do so.

I step outside and put a towel on. In the room, a freshly pulled-over bed welcomes me, the body has been transferred to a nylon bag spread out on the floor. Jev is enthroned on the made-up bed, fully immersed in the girl’s colorful-cased mobile, a forefinger with black fake nails hanging from her mouth. She must have used it to unlock the screen lock.

“Gosh Devin, this female was only eighteen years old,” she smiles.

I shrug. Here, in the Underworld, she is considered old enough to drink with her friends in a nightclub, to flirt with an older man…

“So did her friends see you leave?”

“I think so.”

“Is that them?” She shows a photo on the phone. On the screen, my victim grins at me, along with a pink and a red-haired girl. Their faces are partially obscured by the bunny filter, but they’re recognizable.

“Great, I don’t have to settle for this wrinkled meat today. I write to them immediately: if you’re still in the Ruin, we should meet up. Guess what, I had the date of my life! Smilingey, hearty, blushing smiley.”

She picks up the clothes from the bedside, gets dressed, her figure and breasts gradually getting smaller. When she turns my way again, I find myself face to face with the same girl I called into my apartment less than an hour ago. Except for the human stump protruding from the corner of her mouth.

“Even her hair is as blue as mine! What a suitable task! Leave it to me; and the cameras too.”

I am embarrassed by her enthusiasm and all that she does for me. As one of the founding dragons of the Alliance, she has no obligation to look after me, yet she is adamant. I hope the cleaning squads appreciate her diligence.

The messenger pings.

“They’ve already written back!” A wide predatory smile spreads across her face, she sucks in the rest of the finger. Blood trickles down her chin. I turn away, but I can still hear the soft clack of fingernails hit the floor, the crunch of bone under her teeth. I search eagerly with my gaze for something to distract me.

On my desk lies an envelope.

“I brought in the mail while you were in the shower,” she answers my unspoken question.

It’s addressed to Devin Morawa. Only the Alliance uses my real identity here.

I open it immediately, look through the letter. I can kill two people: a fifty-five-year-old man and a seventeen-year-old girl. Same address, both doxies, the reason of their elimination: self-identification. Could be father and daughter.

James Morawa. Namesakes are common around here, but his sunken face, flat nose, pale eyes are familiar from somewhere. My gaze roams to the photo of the girl, linger on it. Her black-rimmed glasses, her shy smile, her long brown hair.

My tongue slides excitedly over the edge of my teeth.

Talia Morawa.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Next >>