As soon as the bell rings, I grab my things and storm out of the classroom first. Looking left and right for cover, then I dive into the growing crowd. I hurry through a few corridors and then turn into the stairwell leading to the basement. I throw my back against the wall, exhaling.
Gosh, I hope Mandy won’t find me! I was late on purpose this morning so I wouldn’t have to talk to her, and now I’m going to wait in this secluded spot until my class moves into the other building for literature. After the bell rings I’ll be on my way too.
I pull the beige knitted sweater down over my stomach. Have I gained some weight? Maybe it’s just unusual after David’s baggy clothes. I feel so awkward in this, like I’m walking around naked. Why did I put it on? It seemed like a good idea this morning, but why go to our date at all? To break up?
“So, was it worth to ditch me yesterday?” Mandy throws a punch at my shoulder and I jump in surprise.
“W-what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to fix my make-up.” She nods towards a nearby restroom.
Shit, I didn’t think of that!
“You could do with some, too, since you’re all dressed up. So there will be a sequel…” She smiles, as if she’s not the least bit angry.
“Yeah, in Once upon a time. But I won’t go.”
“Then I’ll go instead” She winks.
“No! Please don’t…”
“Oh, what’s that mournful look on your face?
“I must break up with him.” I admit with a burning face. “Mum says it’s better for me this way. Because he needs me only for That” I roll my eyes. “In fact, this morning at breakfast she even made me promise to tell her right away if Devin bothers me and she will mobilize grandpa’s contacts…”
Why am I telling her this? Do I really expect her to be so chatty with me after how I ditched her yesterday?
Mandy just shrugs.
“Never mind what your mother says! She didn’t see your dream guy. If she had, she wouldn’t be talking like that. I bet she’d pay him for a date, or maybe she’d even give him the Tesla, just to let her suck him off. So, if you can do it for free, why not?” She puts her hand on my shoulder, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.
I wish I could be as sure of what I’m doing!
“I don’t think he would want the Tesla” I turn my head away in embarrassment.
“Of course not! He wants you! I saw the way he looked at you yesterday!” Her face flushes with anger.
Even before of her own dates, she rarely gets so enthusiastic. Maybe she’s been with so many boys, that she’s got more excited about my love life than hers. Wow…
“But, you can’t go out with him like that.” She’s got me by the arm. “Come, I’ll help you get a face as attractive as that sweater.”
She pulls me out of my hiding place and we sit on a bench by the window. Even though it’s cloudy, there’s more light than in the stairwell. I watch as she piles foundations and eye make-up on the windowsill, completely oblivious to the crowd and noise that swirls past us.
She’s so nice to me! Perhaps she never meant to take Devin off my hand, and I just imagined her offended look in the heat of the moment.
“I’m sorry for the way I behaved yesterday” I say, my throat scratching at the words. “Its just… it was so exhilarating. You know… that I might have a chance…”
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that too. He’s your first… And why not make it memorable? You deserve it.”
I deserve it – The phrase echoes in my ears like a foreign language, without any meaning.
“Afterall…” She grins, in that typical guy-hunter way. “I can throw myself at him after he’s gotten tired of you.”
Yep, that sounds more authentic than I deserve it.
“But until then, enjoy every minute of it. After all, that’s what life is made of; moments of small pleasures” Her mouth smiles, yet a dark shadow creeps across her face.
A cold silence sits between us. It occurs to me for the first time that there may be more behind the trophy-collecting bombshell’s mask. Something she isn’t telling me, and I’ll never ask.
The stream of students dwindles around us, and with the ring of the bell, the corridor dies out completely. Mandy’s still contemplating while packing her things. It’s as if she’s trying to solve a difficult math equation, but after the unknown doesn’t come out, she starts the calculation over and over again.
“We should be in the other building by now” I say, hoping to avoid the torture of putting on make-up without hurting her feelings.
“You’ll have plenty of literature classes in your life, but only one first boyfriend. So we need to figure out what suits you.” She lifts the foundations and various jars of makeup to my face.
Finally, she presses some onto the sponge and starts to apply. My face tickles at the soft texture, but I stifle a laugh. When she gets close to my eyes, my skin twitches in protest.
Why did I agree to this? No matter how cleverly she applies makeup on me, if there’s nothing to show for it underneath…
Who would fuck a pig?
You’ll die alone.
I can almost see Devin’s kind face turn to contempt.
No, I really can’t go.
Tears sting, so I pull away from Mandy, blinking hard to disperse them.
“Come on, don’t suffer so spectacularly! Trust me, this guy is well worth the inconvenience. Ah, I know!” She lifts an eyelash curler. “I’ll deliberately use this one. It’s not waterproof, so no matter what happens on your date, you mustn’t cry!” She smiles, as if she’s found a cure for all my problems.
I nod, lean forward. The more willing I am, the sooner I’m free. Maybe I can even snatch a bit of the literature class.
“So he wouldn’t want the Tesla…” She continues “What does he have; BMW, Mustang, Ferrari?”
“A… some kind of sports bike.” I answer between two brush strokes. “It looked expensive. It was parked on the sidewalk.”
“I wasn’t looking… just at him. Well, would you ride behind him?”
“Well… actually…” I wish I had enough foundation on me so Mandy couldn’t see me blushing! But looks like I’m out of luck.
“No way…! You already got on behind him, didn’t you?”
“He took me home.”
“What?! So, did you hug him?”
“If I hadn’t, I’d be dead.”
“You’re full of surprises.” She laughs. “How was it?”
“Terrifying.”
“Not that! His body.”
“Muscular, tight. Just as I imagined. But I couldn’t enjoy it; he drives like a madman. But I asked him to go slower next time” I add, only to see Mandy’s face stretched with dismay and envy.
“Then you can legally feel him up today!” Her hand starts shaking, it stops her for a moment.
“Yes…”
Except I’ll be going home alone today. The lie drips down my throat like red-hot lava, fills my lungs, seeps into my ribs. I have no future with this man. Mandy knows it. Yet, I don’t have the courage to say it. I don’t want to see her eyes widen with pity. And I certainly can’t bear to watch Mandy jump on him.
So, I change the subject.
“Did you hear the scandal about Metamorph?”